Wandering, Wondering

I feel I've been wandering through life lately without any sense of direction. It seems strange that this is my impression of my day-to-day seeing as how I know exactly what it is I am meant to do each day and each week - work on my dissertation, go to work, keep informed about the world, spend time with friends. Yet these tasks, which I willingly enter into, seem to feel forced most days. Being in the company of friends is easy enough, I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them, but I suffer from a reluctance to escape the confines of my room and go visit them in the first place. Why? I don't know.
Possibly my room has become a black hole that I struggle to escape from. With the library running on shitty hours and the weather being as unstable as it is I find it hard to motivate myself to leave the confines of these four walls when it is unnecessary. I also get an incredibly awkward feeling around my flatmates when I eat or work in the kitchen. Strange really but I feel more comfortable in my room. Possibly this is symptomatic of my ongoing descent into hermitage, but I digress.
The bird outside my window, which wakes me from my hazy zoned-out existence during the day, fights with a cat all night long. I blame them for my mental exhaustion. Likely my lack of sleep is not entirely their fault. My mind races too much during the night to allow my body a solid rem sleep. However, the cat is supremely obnoxious, so she shall bear the burden of my blame-shifting.
My books lie open on my desk - an article entitled "Somaliland: Africa's best kept secret, A challenge to the international community?" awaits my attention. I want to read it, but I dread the consequences. There is a chance the article will further my thoughts and arguments for my work. However there is an equal chance that it will challenge me further and inspire more time-exhausting research.
Unfortunately, a third option exists where the article proves useless in every way and results in my ongoing state of dissatisfaction with the whole dissertation process. Thus more procrastination.
I love watching dramatic TV programming to procrastinate. It's more than laziness or mindless time-wasting. I thoroughly enjoy interesting plots and characters. I love new and creative ideas. They challenge me on world issues and inspire my own localized imagination.  Unfortunately I love watching TV more than I seem to love working on my dissertation or getting necessary sleep before my 7AM shifts at the City Hotel. I also spend far too much time on facebook and sporcle. Speaking of... wait, I'll finish this post first.
Family's coming in a month, best friend a month after that. Living in Ireland and achieving my goals as best as I can. I have a solid job that doesn't overly vex me. I work with good people and that's truly half the battle. The sun shines most days and the people of Derry are friendly. My herbs on the windowsill are growing nicely. I have a loving group of friends and the support of my peers. So why is it that life seems to be giving me fruit baskets and all I can do is wish I could make lemonade??